To say 2020 has been an interesting wedding season thus far might be like saying its kind of warm in Tennessee in the summer. I don’t have any way to know where you are personally, dear reader, or where we are in the coronavirus pandemic as a global community when these words find you, but I want to share something with you that matters no matter when you read it: When you are planning a wedding, you are not just planning an event, you are committing to a life time with a person, for better or for worse.
Is your wedding important? Of course it is! (Hello, I’m a wedding planner.) What I’m saying is that this is the day that marks your promise for going forward, not all that encompasses what makes a marriage, and that’s a perspective you have to fight for. Walking with couples who are trying to get married during this pandemic, there have been many tears, frustrations, and unmet expectations that I’ve witnessed with my sweet clients, as well as many of my friends. Hear me say this: this is hard. Whether you are moving forward with your wedding on a more intimate level, or you have postponed, I absolutely want to honor your feelings and say that this is a loss, and it is sad. You’ve worked really hard. You’ve probably spent a lot of time, money, and energy, and that matters. But. (I say that with a lot of grace in my voice), I want you to look at your significant other and say to them (repeat after me): “I still get to marry you.”
Now that we’ve established that its OK to be sad, I have something else I need to say… you are signing up for more of this. More loss. More sadness. More unmet expectations. More disappointments. More sickness. More bad news. (Lord willing, not more pandemic, but at the rate 2020 is going, who flipping knows). You are signing up for all of that because that is life on this side of Heaven. BUT. That is not all you’re signing up for.
You are signing up for whatever life holds together: for better, or for worse.
Even though there will be more of the hard, there will be so much more of the beautiful. There will be joy, and redemption of broken things, births, new seasons, and a deep love that comes from facing the worst and coming out on the other side together.. As hard this season is for those who are beginning their marriage during a crisis, keep your eyes on each other. You are just getting a head start on that for better for worse part.
Each couple featured in this blog got an early start on their for better or for worse, just like you. Whether it was facing what to do with their wedding during this pandemic, doubts, heartbreaking things that came their way they never could have foreseen in the first seasons of their marriages, faith stretching moments, all, and they chose to press in to their choice to face it all together. You can do that too, dear one. Hold on to the hand of your person, ask for help if you need it, and take the next step together.
Photography Credits: In order of appearance: Jennifer Cody, Kristin Vanzant, Courtney Davidson, Austin Gros.